the best often die by their own hand just to get away, and those left behind can never quite understand why anybody would ever want to get away from them Charles Bukowski
Archive > January 2009
Heartstrings.
I wear my heart on my sleeve. I try my best to give love with all my heart. If i am interested in someone or anything really i throw all my being into making something work. It’s probably what makes everything fail. My underlying stubbornness. Today was good, there was hot water for once and [...]
"Misunderstood"
Disclaimer!! I know i have been ranting a lot about flaky people. It’s just something thats been bothering me. It’s been seeping into my life for too long starting as a child and i’m trying to move past it. I really don’t have to explain myself other than writing helps get all the anger and [...]
Have you seen my stapler?
So i have noticed a new category of people. I will call them the flakylamejerkheads. They are people who i try to make plans with that cancel at the last minute. The person i have been trying to make plans with lately is especially flaky. They work all the time which i understand. They choose [...]
If only i had something clever.
I guess this is pretty personal to write on here. I consider myself to be a pretty intuitive person. When i get a feeling about someone it usually ends up being true. I don’t like that i end up falling for people who end up being assholes. I am apparently attracted to the wrong crowd. [...]
A better Day.
It snowed last night! Once again making Portland look pretty. and yet another excuse for me to stay inside. But i think i will go shovel out my car for the exercise. I wish i could let my cats out. They’ve never been in snow before. But this area is full of really weird people [...]
One last shove out the door.
And there goes the last person i pushed away. I can hear the door slam behind them. i think it’s time to start taking st John’s wort. we will see how that goes in the next couple weeks
Efforts Unoticed.
If i don’t make an effort. Than nothing happens. No one bothers making an effort on my behalf. So i just don’t bother anymore. Relationships and Friendships are two way streets. Not a one way clusterfuck like down town Portland in the winter time after a storm.
Pet Peeves
When someone says they will call later and don’t. How fucking hard is it to pick up the phone? Don’t say you are gonna call and then “forget to” It’s really annoying. Especially if i am waiting. I hate waiting. I also hate being on the phone. So waiting for someone to call is two [...]
Meal Planning.
I am going to get one of those big calendars and hang it up in the kitchen and write down each meal for the week. What it needs for each recipe, and things like that. So i eat better meals, healthier meals, and i don’t have to worry about what i eat as much. I [...]
