I was unceremoniously unfriended recently.
It’s not like we had a fight over politics.
Or some major disagreement.
I’m really disappointed by it.
I took it really personally since I’d just started talking to this person and was probably a little too excited to have a new friend. Now we are frenemies? or something? Being a single mom you have a lot of time to yourself even if you have a baby they are not great conversationalists till they grow older. So by the end of the day when I have someone to talk to I unload a barrage of verbal diarrhea that’s been filling up behind the flood gates during the day. Sometimes friends talk a lot! because they have things in common and there is so much going on in the world that it just happens to be a lot of chatting. Sometimes days could go by and they don’t talk at all. It’s just the way things work. New friends talk more to build a good friendship and get to know each other.
You live and you learn right? I’ve always had a lot of issues with trying to please people by throwing myself to the wayside and forgetting I am a self confident person.
But being “thrown away” so unceremoniously and so abruptly stirs up a lot of memories from my childhood and how I was treated like such.
I probably shouldn’t devote a whole blog post to it.
But one thing I do know is that Baby Bear will not grow up thinking that his father abandoned him. He has so many people who love him and such an amazing family. We are by no means close to the “American standard family type” But we are a family, Baby Bear and I none the less. I’m tired of being stigmatized for this and how the perfect family of a mom and dad are pounded into our heads from the time we are born that one way has to be normal and if you deviate from that path than you are lesser than the rest of us and are ostracized for it. This is 2011 and the generic family model, I’m guessing created by the puritan/christian religious groups to promote the bible are no longer relevant. Of course it would be nice to have help with caring for my son and to have a partner to share life with! Who wouldn’t want that? But to be guilt tripped that my son will grow up possibly without a father figure in life does not mean he will be a social outcast. His family is different; whose isn’t these days? There will be strong and supportive male role models in his life and he will be taught whatever his interests are. How to fix cars, how to repair your house, how to do your own damn laundry (his future wife will thank me), how to do all the things a man or father figure could teach him. Baby Bear will not miss out on these opportunities.
the end!
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