I see couples everywhere now that I am single.
I loved being with my person, going places and having him there with me. My guardian and best friend.
I have this memory in my head of seeing him at the grocery store and walking towards him after having gotten some now inane and unimportant ingredient, feeling proud that he was mine. Happiness that I was the one he chose to be with.
But upon further reflection I discovered something about myself that I do not like. I should not have to appease the person I am with. I should be good enough the way I am. Of course there are flaws, some large cracks in my psyche and some small fissures that can be fixed over time. The larger cracks filled in with putty that dries over time…slowly.
Do I even know what a relationship is? I like to think I do but I am probably sadly mistaken about this. However folding like a house of cards for someone else really isn’t healthy. Blinding yourself to their flaws and accepting them for who they are only gets you so far. Everyone has flaws, but some flaws I have are incompatible with theirs. By putting rose colored glasses on everyone seems great. This obviously is not the greatest game plan.
How do I pursue things I am interested in when I haven’t the faintest idea?
Where do I find the time between three classes and Baby Bear? Well I obviously found the time to blog didn’t I?
I got a few books on sewing and I am extremely excited to start making things that I can sell through my shop.
If anyone has any ideas I would love to add them to my to do list:
Bibs
Small human Shoes
dresses
mei tai carriers
grown up skirts
aprons
quilts
26/01/2011 at 1:26 am Permalink
and of course, we musn’t forget, that HE should be as thrilled and proud to be on your arm. for if he is, he is a lucky gentleman indeed.
04/02/2011 at 8:40 am Permalink
The right relationship will find you, and will not make you fold or question yourself1