I feel like I am in a free fall with no end, juggling a lot in my life that is very fragile but all on the brink of being dropped. I want this free fall to end and land on my own two feet. I do not need to keep hearing what other people want from me and land in a different direction than I need to be in. But if there is anything I am doing right it is raising my son. I deal with the guilt and the anxiety every single day, it is just part of parenting. Part of the territory that no one tells you about because it is so vast and barren. You think that you are nervous with just making sure that your baby makes it into the world alive and healthy? Well you have no idea how much that worry compounds once the kid is on the outside.
Besides all the worry I feel like I do a decent job as Baby Bears mom. I loose my cool just like anyone else, I work everyday on being more patient and understanding, I also have bad days and wallow in my mistakes begrudgingly admitting I was wrong at something. It is not easy to suck up your pride and admit defeat.I feel like I have been in a really rocky place lately with life and I do not want that to muck up Baby Bears childhood. If anything all children deserve at least that right. To happy memories and a happy childhood, which i fully intend to give Baby Bear.
I am the Mama Bear and he is Baby Bear, together we go stomping any little red riding hoods who be stealin our porridge.
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